As I was walking backward away from the security checkpoint, taking each step farther away from Javi, my heart started to break a little more; tears were building up more and more. Finally, I got to the lower level of the airport; I found myself standing in a corner, desperately trying to suck the tears back into my eyes. After a few silent seconds, I got the courage to take the air train home. As I was sitting on the air train, I felt lost and confused. I just set in the air train letting it go around the airport for 30 mins before I got out and switched to a right line.
I texted my friends for meeting up as I was riding the subway because I was not ready to face an empty apartment. So I asked for a friend of mine to meet up. As he has work to wrap up, I’m just waiting alone at a nearby Starbucks, looking out at the window and feeling grateful that the sky is crying and not me. Because of my past, my tears seem to have dried up even though I know deep down I’m crying on the inside but can’t seem to understand how to let it out, so the sky is crying for me instead.
As I’m reflecting this past week, I still wonder if it was a dream, since it felt like a fantasy that you can only read about it from a book or a movie. There was no drama, no bull shit argument, just two guys, liking each other and going on the adventure together. If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.
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